The seventeenth of March

I wish I had the words to explain how emotions raise and flow, how some of the things, that are the worst that have happened to a person, will come to the surface sparked by the unseen. All of the shrink talk and theroies on how to survive life, be happy, fade, when a returned momery takes hold. If ya put it on the web, you may find yourself regretting the revealing.

To my friends, thank you


The fifteenth of March

Students using a stick and ink to draw.

At first the students in all 3 classes looked at me as if I was a little crazy, and for some the letting go of control was hard. I mean its a stick… from the park around Pratt and india ink. After a first drawing with that, I taped inch wide brushes on other long sticks and the drawings were done with both.  The idea is to step  back, see the whole paper throughout the experience. For some students, it was very freeing, for others, not so much.

We are not all the same.



In relationship to my last post about my depression and wonders of my usefulness. Several people have written some very supportive advice and others have told me of similar feels. There much that I have, and there is much that I must learn.

Thank you



The 13th of March

I have not written because I have been depressed and confessed.

I have failed at becoming successful. What is success?  In my field being invited to shows, getting in shows, selling, being recognized as an artist and being respected for it.

I have also failed in relationships.  I am a foolish person who believes what people say. I know, you are thinking, what a child. How many times my father said, people lie, all people lie, I didn’t believe him. Strange, I should have believed him of all people.

Anyway, in this depression, I tried to get someone to understand the lonelyness felt by someone when they are alone to the point of knowing, they are totally unneeded. Having no one depended on you is not a lovely freedom but one of the loneliness states of being.

What makes a person necessary?

Anyway, this week, I painted with a stick in ink these:

Finally, I talked to someone who said my saddnes was understandable, (sometimes, thats all you need) I was able to work again. When all there is in your life that maybe of value is your art, when it is frozen, all the breath in you it taken.

Now I am working on this:DSC_0651

I am breathing again.